Did you know I do commissions? Well, I do. I have a page for it, if you’re curious.

Anyway, I happen to have just finished (more or less) my latest, which means I can get back to work on my own projects. You won’t actually be able to read this one, because, well, you didn’t pay for it. There is a chance I’ll include it in a collection of some sort later, but for now, this is for one person only.

So why am I telling you?

Well, two reasons. One, so you know that I do commissions, because I could use the money.  Two, because I am feeling generous enough to share an extract with you, just enough to get you interested.

“You spend so long and try so hard to cultivate a perception of yourself, to be seen as the person you want to be,” she said. “An entirely personal struggle, one that nobody has to suffer through, no matter what they think. You devote as much energy to it as you do to staying alive, and in one moment, with just a few words, one person can strip it all from you, and leave you with nothing. And there’s nothing you can say, or do, that will take away that pain once it happens.”

I stared at her, stunned into silence. I was fighting back tears with all of my might, and failing miserably.

“It is difficult to go through even a single day, sometimes,” she said. “When you’re so fragile, so easily wounded, you wonder if it’s even worth trying. You’re tempted to give up, to just be what they want you to be. You’re going to be unhappy either way, so why reach for the stars? It only means you’ll fall further. When all you want is what everyone has, but something so simple as a pronoun can take it all away from you, you wonder if you’ll ever get what you want.”

I’ll let you know if and when it becomes available to you. Until then, be sure to check back here on Valentine’s day, because I have not one, but two treats prepared for you, completely free.


My tea’s gone cold, I’m wondering why
I got out of bed at all
Morning rain clouds up my window
and I can’t see at all
Even if I could it would all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad
It’s not so bad.

One thought on “Aishiteru

Leave a Reply